Get fit or die trying….literally!


Why the hell would anyone put themselves through that? I am definitely going to fail miserably and look like a massive idiot. What if I don’t fail? What if I do it? I might actually be able to do it. Oh my god, what the hell am I thinking? How the hell am I going to get fit enough to not have a heart attack during the race?

The race I am talking about is Tough Mudder, and after a good week or so of deliberating what kind of crazy ass person would put themselves through this, I have decided that I am one. I am one of those crazy ass people about to put myself through what looks to be the most difficult and challenging thing I have ever done in my life, and probably will ever do! In order to even contemplate doing this I know I have to get fit, not just fit, strong as well. I have about as much upper body strength as a small child but at least I only weigh 9st, so there’s a positive start…

So today was my first day back to the gym after about two years lost and a few pounds gained and I’ve got to say, I absolutely surpassed my own fitness expectations. After little more than a few long walks and a five and half hour climb up Mount Snowdon back in 2011, as well as the odd pathetic attempt at a run, I have done no exercise what so ever! Shocking I know, so yesterday I decided to get off my lazy, chocolate eating, takeaway scoffing arse and sign up to a gym again.

“It’s your first day back, go easy.” Instead somehow the gym took hold of me and made me push myself, I will definitely pay for that decision tomorrow!

my first workout consisted of running for 25 minutes on the treadmill, yes, I am absolutely shocked I managed it. I must have out-stayed about three people on the treads, as well as no doubt slightly de-motivating the two girls next to me with my incessant jogging, both of which were doing little more than a brisk walk. I wonder, what is the point in walking on a treadmill, just go for an ACTUAL walk… or maybe I shouldn’t be on a treadmill and go for an ACTUAL run myself!

So after I stopped running out of boredom (not exhaustion) I dragged my sweaty self on to the cross trainer (which I remember being a lot more difficult!) I decided that I would set it to a random level to test my self a bit more. Whilst on the cross trainer I spotted a blonde girl wearing a full face of make up, bleached blonde hair extensions, leggings, a leopard print cropped top and plimsoles. I secretly hoped she would hurt herself just out of pure ludicrous nature of wearing plimsoles to the gym, that and she looked utterly ridiculous but who am I to judge. I was just wondering what happened to wearing sweatpants with your hair scraped back and getting sweaty. The gym is surely the one place you can be forgiven for looking less than ideal.

So anyway, 20 minutes later, with a face the colour of a ripe tomato and sweat pouring out of every single part of me (Yuk) I finished what turned out to be a rather pleasant workout on the cross trainer. A lot more pleasant than the guys next to me, who looked like his world was about to end, but to give him his dues I think he was on it for nearly an hour! Pretty impressive, and mental may I add! Next was the good old-fashioned rowing machine, I have to say I actually really liked the rower and it’s great for the arms, bum and stomach which is always good. 10 minutes later I stumbled off, nearly falling into a man in the process due to jelly leg syndrome from all the leg workouts, and decided that going on the treadmill for a quick walk would be a good idea to cool down. Instead I decided that I would jog for another five minutes to avoid looking like one of those lame girls from earlier who clearly were too unfit to run, in front of some random stranger next to me. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, gym fever set in. After managing to stop after five minutes I walked for five and then that was the end of my first trip back in about two years. I’ve gotta say, I loved it!

Next session, arm weights and chin ups! Well I’ve gotta get across those monkey bars some how…

N x

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